An Understanding

When a person is sick the first reaction of those who love the person in question is to surround them with love and support. This is a normal and very welcomed in the mist of crisis.

However, there is a fine line between getting support you need and becoming a drain on those you love. My husband would tell you that I don't ask for help enough and that I walk myself into hot water at times. I have to admit I have a lot of pride. I am the last to admit I need to go see that doctor and my dear hubby is the first! The other day he kindly remarked that he thought it was time for me to visit my doctor and my response was that I thought he needed to shut his mouth. Gasp...... I have since apologized and seen the doctor. The thing that I love about my hubby is that he notices the slightest change in me. He can detect my mood changes, which is often a reflection of fluctuations in blood sugar as well as an infection brewing. He and I have an understanding (which is not always perfect because we are imperfect) I will do as much as I can when I can and I will ask for help when I can't, he will do what he can when he can and together we'll fill in the blanks of daily life together.

The opposite is also true of some patients, they ask for too much help. I am not trying to be cold-hearted, this is a reality that is often overlooked because they are sick. I and medical professionals can tell you that if a person can do and it is deemed safe, its best that the patient does it. Being able to take care of yourself is such a freeing experience that builds confidence and usually leads to better overall health. We are people outside of our disease and we need to find a level of confidence, self-worth, and independence. Not everything is our disease. Sometimes laziness is simply that. Sometimes we find ourselves in a cycle of self-pity. We need caregivers who can recognize these whom we have an understanding with. The understanding being that we need their support at times but other times we need to be able to rely on our selves and give support in return. 

I hate the thought of causing those in my life to become burnt out on caring for me. Plus its important to me that I understand that they have difficulties in their lives as well. I hope I always retain the ability to look outside my own suffering with a gauge of perspective and know when mine is bearable and know when I should seek medical attention.

I can't say enough about my hubby. I can't even begin to spell out all the wonderful support he provides. It is not something that can really be verbalized only observed. I think anyone who has watch B and I can attest to his amazing patience, love, support, heart and overall magnificent self. He is my balance in so many ways. 

For all you endearing partners of chronically ill spouses you deserve a huge pat on the back and a giant hug. Choosing to love someone is hard enough but when you love us when we can't always control our emotions or physical state is such an act of pure honest love. Thank you!


~Doodlin'