As I grow older so do those around me and I am finding myself in quit a pickle. I have never been a caregiver. I am not a mother, I have never had to oversee care for a chronically ill parent or grandparent. I have always been the patient or the one receiving the care. My pickle is that I want to be the best caregiver I can be when and if the time arises yet I have little to no experience.
I have had some incredible caregivers. I am still lucky enough to have my mother and grandmother as two of the best caregivers in the world, if I don't say so myself! I have also had many outstanding nurses and doctors who have spend countless hours assisting.
From my perspective being a caregiver is at times is harder than being a patient. Caregivers are helpless most of the time, while the patient (if able) can make decisions about their health care to treat or ease the side affects of the illness. Caregivers are so crucial to the over-all well being of a patient, simply because of the non-medical support they provide.
In my case, my caregivers have all help in different ways, each caregiver has a different set of strengths and skills. For example, my Nana (grandmother) set of skills and strengths was to comfort. She would always come visit with yummy food that warms the insides and with a tender hug, kiss and even a lovely little song. Yes, a song! Nana would stay by my side even if I was sleeping, I can't even begin to verbalize how comforting waking up to a familiar face is in the mist of being ill. While my mom's strength was in directing traffic of sorts. She would make sure that I had what I needed when I needed it. She also dealt with the doctors, getting prescriptions, making sure I took all my medications and making sure things ran as smoothly as possible for me. She too would be there upon my waking but often times she alot of hats to wear, like parenting my younger brother and ensuring all his needs were being met. Mom's of multiple children with whom one is ill are some of the strongest, bravest, determined and fierce woman out there, no joke.
About 4 years ago my mom was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer. The treatment was to remove the entire Thyroid and any surrounding glands if needed along with some oral medications of sorts. I had in my mind that I would walk every step of the way with her as she navigated the ruff waters. I went to a few doctors appointments and was there when she had the surgery. But I quickly realized that it is really difficult to make the transition from patient to caregiver. I have never had to care for my mom or assist her in making major medical decisions besides going for routine check-ups. I truly felt lost and had no idea how to help her or what to say to comfort her. I also think it was hard for my mom to transition from caregiver to patient. We as humans become so accustom to doing and managing things a certain way which makes change or transition difficult.
I pray I never have to become a caregiver to my mom or Nana or anyone I love but history along with time tells me that they are aging. While there is no way to anticipate the kind of care they will need or want I can begin to attempt to understand what makes a great caregiver and mentally try to become just as great a caregiver to them as they have been for me. I owe them that at the very very least.
I must learn to become a caregiver from the experiences of being a patient.
~Doodlin'
Kari, this was a great message. I bet your Nana, and Mother would give their lives for yours. It was nice that you thanked both of them and elaborated about it.
ReplyDeleteI think learning to become a caregiver just hits you like a ton of bricks, and when the time comes, you are there , or not.
From what you said, I think you will be a great caregiver. Thank you for sharing, Karla